The Ebb and Flow of Time
by Morganeth Taren'drel
Summary: an introspective look at the Doctor, seeing the world through his eyes. Inspired from a comment in Tooth and Claw, and having watched the movie Next. Enjoy!


**AN**: this story was an idea floating around in my head for a while now; I believe it originally came from when I'd seen the movie Next. If any of you have see it you know Nicolas Cage's character could see into the future, and from an outside POV you'd just suddenly see him flinch, but through his eyes, you'd see one of his future selves die. I wanted to try and write something like that but through the eyes of the Doctor. I hope you enjoy!

I hope you'll forgive any grammatical errors.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters from Doctor Who

**The Ebb and Flow of Time**

The Doctor stood unnoticed in the lively park standing beneath the low bow of an old tree. He felt hollow inside, and had hoped the sound of humans laughing and playing might ease the ache in his chest. His TARDIS waited for him at the edge of the park, also unseen by the men, women and children enjoying the bright summer day. The Doctor drew in a breath he could feel the pulses of life around him, could see the movement of time, from moment to moment and if he allowed himself, far beyond.

Seconds turned to days, seasons and years, the ebb and flow of the Earth spun about him, as he stood motionless beneath the tree. It was a comforting feeling a sensation he'd known all his life. This was what a Time Lord was. The Doctor blinked seeing the park again; it was how he'd described himself to Rose...

The cry of a young child drew the Doctor's attention; a young boy had just stolen a toy from a little girl. Without really thinking about it the Doctor reached out, focusing in on the boy gently wrapping his thoughts into the boy's time line. And in a minute the last of the Time Lords saw all the child could be, from the moment in the park to the end of his days. The Doctor expanded his mind taking in all the options the boy had, looking down every turn in his life, always hoping for the best.

Drawing a breath, the Doctor's sight expanded pulling in the people the boy would one day touch, both good and bad all possibilities were open, the Doctor could see them all. He knew each detail intimately as though he could give his full attention to nothing else. The world changed, places people, always in constant flux. The days came and went, years passing as the world grew, and the only one to remain the same was the Doctor.

In an instant it was gone, and the Doctor was looking at the child again, laughing in the face of his sister's tears. There was so much potential buried there, so many possibilities surrounding the Doctor, whispering in to him. It was a song only he could hear, music he had attempted to share, the excitement it gave him fed his life. Reminding him even in the darkest moments that there was still good out there. That above all else, he could protect the living, allow for these lives to twist through time and space, and continue their sing to him.

But through it all there was a void, a speck of dust in the vastness of the universe, impossible to see but the Doctor felt it keenly. It was an effort not to loose himself there, not to be pulled in each time his thoughts ran across it like a bur on your nail catching against every piece of fabric. There was just so much that reminded him of her. The Doctor told himself again and again that she was alive! Alive and safe, with her family a life she hadn't wanted, but any life was better than death. But he couldn't feel it, and for him that was a fate worse than her death.

Time Lords were not supposed to be selfish, so many times did he watch the progression of time; little more than an observer unable to interfere with what was supposed to be. He'd been raised that way, the truth of time, of cause and effect born within him. Just once though, he wanted to throw all he knew away, reach into the void and pull back her smiling face. Wasn't he allowed a little happiness? Did he always have to put the universe before himself?

Could he not allow himself one moment of selfishness?

Standing alone at the end of the Time War had left him just as hollow, but so very hard. If he could not save just one life then, not even his family, how could he allow himself this? There was nothing for him to do, but pull free of that tiny yet endless void and push on as he always did. He had made the decision long ago to put the universe before himself, as much as it hurt he couldn't allow one girl to change that, could he?

Thanks for Reading!

Morganeth Taren'drel


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